Farewell to Camden

This was the final update from my time in Camden, NJ, composed in July 2007.
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God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
–2 Timothy 1:7

This is the theme verse for Camp Spirit, the Urban Promise summer camp for 5th through 8th graders where I work. I’ve found it fitting that I should end my year reciting a verse each day that sums up so perfectly what this year has meant for me. Fear is one of my greatest struggles. Part of it comes from being naturally shy, and part of it, as I have learned, comes from a lack of faith in who God tells me I am and what He tells me I should be capable of. So in my final newsletter of the year, I hope to pick apart this verse in light of how God has used Camden to chip away at my spirit of fear.

Not a spirit of fear, but of power

Looking back, it’s pretty obvious that over the last 11 months, I didn’t change Camden. If anything, things have gotten worse. Camden did, however, change me. In the words of Che Guevara, “Let the world change you, and you can change the world.” Maybe I wasn’t able to reduce the murder rate or the drug trafficking, but I was able to see the affects of these problems. I learned on the macro level about the systems of oppression that perpetuate poverty and crime, and I learned on the micro level about individuals and families that yearn for a better world. Just this week, Camden’s murder count for the year hit 23 (last year at this time there were 16), and the latest victim was the mother of my camp kids’ classmate and friend – beaten to death by her husband who was drunk and high. The best I can do is to join with the people of Camden in their pain – to share their wounds. This is the spirit of power that the Lord has given me. Because I was not afraid to take this risk, to live amongst and work alongside these people, I have gained more insight than reading books or watching 20/20 alone could ever give me. My eyes have also been opened to the blessings I have: my education, support network, and most importantly my faith empower me to work for change – to build God’s kingdom and establish the peace, justice, and abundant life of shalom.

Not a spirit of fear, but of love

Just as I didn’t do much good affecting a social revolution in Camden, I wasn’t that good at loving people, either. The most I can say is that I was present, and that I did my best to care in the little time that I had. Archbishop Oscar Romero once said, “So you say you love the poor…name them.” That I can do: there’s Kelley, Shermere, Pastor Tim, David Collins, Angel, Scott, Eddie, Beltran, Tina…I could go on for pages. In the last month, these people have spoiled us to death. We’ve been taken to New York and Atlantic City and attended all sorts of lunches, barbecues, and ceremonies in our honor. I guess my presence made some sort of impact. Even if I couldn’t right all the wrongs of their education system or get a single homeless person off the street, they noticed the sacrifices that I made to come and live and work in a foreign and sometimes hostile environment for a year for no pay and with no T.V. (God forbid!). While I came to Camden touting a pretty prideful kind of love – crusading on behalf of justice and God’s-heart-for-the-poor – I will be leaving cloaked in a humbler love – begging my friends here not to forget me, and praying that God will not let me forget them. Love, I think, is the aspect of God’s spirit that is most violently attacked by fear. Love requires us to be vulnerable, to make sacrifices, and to let go of all that makes us comfortable to make room for the comfort of others.

Not a spirit of fear, but of a sound mind

Coming to Camden, I think I was unaware how much Mission Year would change my mind. I was so excited to live and work with “likeminded” people that I didn’t anticipate the drastic shifts in perspective that soon confronted me. Through books, movies, speakers, and innumerable practical experiences, my mind was flooded with new ideas about poverty, race, education, development, community, and most of all God. I’m now realizing that I want this to be my life. I never want to stop being a sponge for Truth. I don’t want to work a job where I’m not constantly challenged by new ideas, and I don’t want to pursue learning that I can’t live out practically. This desire is what has led me to choose the newly created Mission Year/Eastern University graduate partnership for my next adventure. I’ll be doing a full time Masters program at Eastern in Urban Development while living in inner city Philadelphia (probably the west side) and practicing a simple community lifestyle and neighborhood ministry very similar to what I did this year. It’s basically Mission Year again with education substituted for community service. I am planning, however, to volunteer a few hours a week with an organization that runs dance (and other art-based) classes for youth in homeless shelters. I am really, really excited to further this year’s growth – I’m going back to school, but not back to the bubble. I pray that next year, like this one, will be a time of cramming my mind so full of the age-old yet revolutionary wisdom of God that there’s no room left for a spirit of fear!

In the words of one of my favorite 90’s tunes, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Thanks for sticking with me, friends!

Faithfully fearless,
Devon